On Being Happy

March 8th, 2010 by Joeclark 1 comment »
Happy Valentine's Day
Image by david_a_lea via Flickr

Have you heard the saying. “happiness is a journey not a destination?” Or, perhaps, you’ve heard, “there is no WAY to happiness, happiness is the WAY.” Over my professional career I’ve read many books and been to many motivational seminars that talked about happiness. Most of them claim that happiness is a choice. If we’re feeling down, frustrated, lost, depressed, etc. etc. then it’s because we haven’t made the choice to just be happy.

Well, I hate to break it to ya my fellow Midlifers but that’s a bunch of sh$t. Yes, you heard me. My experience with that particular philosophy is that it leads to a good amount of dissatisfaction and even more frustration.  Sometimes we are simply down, sad, and depressed and trying to make a choice to be happy is next to impossible. However, here’s what is possible. It’s possible to make a decision to ALLOW happiness into your life. I know it might sound like a play on words but it’s true.

I was just talking with a good friend of mine that I’ve known since high school. He’s just turned 40 and has had a similar year as mine. He’s recently divorced, trying to rebuild his career, and work through a number of other challenges all at once. Over the last year there was a good stretch of time where he found himself nightly at the neighborhood bar. It was beginning to become a problem for him. He was depressed, putting on lots of weight, and generally engaging in toxic relationships. Basically, he was unhappy in a deep way.

It’s very early in his recovery but he said that he just decided that happiness wasn’t much different than sinking into a good yoga pose.”You just have to let it happen.” You can’t force your body into strange positions but you can ALLOW your body to settle into the position on it’s own.

This has been my experience as well. I’ve seen the results in allowing happiness. When I allow happiness to just move into my life I find that I end up in situations, or relationships, or work settings, where happiness just comes easier.

Being happy isn’t just as simple as deciding one minute to be happy. It’s about letting it enter your life. You see if I take the well known statement, “there is no WAY to happiness, happiness is the WAY” then that implies that I have to either already be happy or pretend to be happy in order to find more happiness. Does that make sense? However, if I tweak that statement a little to say, “there is no WAY to happiness but ALLOWING happiness is the way” then it’s much more empowering.

For me letting myself be happy means I tend to find myself in positive relationships and situations where I am happy.

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My Great Love

March 7th, 2010 by Joeclark 1 comment »

 

Manifesto:  a public declaration of principles,
policies, or intentions. A statement or an announcement.

 

Since this happens to be My Manifesto then here it is…I have met my great love.

 

 

 

Wine Tasting My Way!

March 6th, 2010 by Joeclark 1 comment »
Assorted wine corks
Image via Wikipedia

I’m so far from a sophisticated wine connoisseur it’s seriously comical. I know as much about wines as George Bush does about WMDs (oooh, did I say that outloud?)

Anyway, this is how I rank wine. It’s a fairly simple system that I verbalize like this:

  • “Hmm…not bad…not bad” = This wine sucks!
  • “MMMM…that’s interesting” = This wine is fairly mediocre; nothing special.
  • “Oh WOW!! What the f&ck just happened in my mouth?” = This wine is fabulous; ridiculously good!
 

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My Midlife God Delusion

March 5th, 2010 by Joeclark 2 comments »
Richard Dawkins at the 34th American Atheists ...
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I’ve always been interested in spirituality, mysticism, and even little green men but over the last year and half or so my appetite for spiritual knowledge has been a big one. I suppose this is fairly typical for a dude about to turn 40 and who seems to be going through a midlife crisis or a personal transition of some sort.

Anyway, I recently picked up a book called the God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. Mr. Dawkins is a well-known author, bioligist, and conscious thinker and he has written several best-selling books supporting Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, natural selection, and general atheism.

Although my experience has led me to a personal knowing that there is something greater at work in the Universe that lies well beyond the pure physicality that we observe as humans, I found his points and the presentation of his ideas to be super interesting. His writings are thorough, well-researched, and he sites many of the most reknowned scientists to support his ideas. I do sense an underlying anger and at times a disrespectful sarcasm in his words but overall he is an amdirable person from my point of view and I plan to read more of his books.

The basic argument that Mr. Dawkins presents is that there is no God, gods, or supernatural beings of any kind. He believes, and provides lots of support, in natural selection as opposed to any type of intelligent design to explain life and the entire universe. Essentially, he believes that living things evolved over long periods of time based in large part on the traits that seem to be most effective for a creature’s survival. Things were not designed nor created by some entity or deity but rather through a natural process that spans millenia.

Here’s what I found to be true for me while reading this book. His writings and ideas didn’t change my mind about my spirituality but rather they supported it. See, for me, I can totally support natural selection and evolution without it interfering with my beliefs around God. What Mr. Dawkins and Charles Darwin refer to as the theories of Natural Selection and Evolution I refer to as an Organizing Intelligence, divine creation, etc. To me we are in agreement and we are saying the same thing just with different labels. We get so caught up in the labels that we give things when in fact our language is highly limiting and often causes severe misunderstanding.

I believe there is a life force, physicists and scientists call this Quantum Energy, that runs through and gives life to everything in the Universe from people, to cats, to coral reefs, to rocks, and dirt. Mr. Dawkins doesn’t cover this energy in the book but rather he refers to Gene’s (not Wranglers) being the basic deciders of effective traits. Although the word “deciders” wasn’t his exact word, that is essentially the way he explains it. Gene’s, through long periods of time, determine what traits living organisms should continue to have or abandon. My take on this would be that genes seem to learn , which to me implies there is some type of intelligence that does the learning and continues to create based on that new knowledge.

Now, I’m no scientist. In fact I had to bust my ass to do well in biology. But, to me natural selection and evolution are creative processes that require some organizing intelligence in order to take shape. In fact, I’ll just take the liberty of drilling down further since this happens to be My Manifesto (Ha!). According to Quantum Physics and Science if you take a chunk of gold and begin to break it down into smaller pieces then utlimately you will wind up with gold atoms. These atoms can be broken down further still to tiny quantum particles until ultimately what’s left are just waves of particles and empty space. You can do the exact same thing to a tomato and you will ultimately find the same thing as you found in gold; just particles and waves of energy. However, these waves vibrate at different frequencies and these vibrations organize the waves and particles into a piece of gold or a tomato.

If I could have a chat with Mr. Dawkins one of the first questions I would have would be: If ultimately gold and tomatoes are made of the exact same thing then what is it that determines that this energy over here will organize itself into gold and that energy over there will organize itself into a tomato? Is it chance? Mr. Dawkins provides some very smart arguments against the Universe happening just out of “chance.”  My second question to Mr. Dawkins would be: If genes determine our traits in order to survive then what is it that determines that certain waves and particles will organize into genes instead of a slice of chocolate cake? Sure genes determine our traits but what makes the determination that certain quantum parts will form into genes?

At any rate, these are all thoughts that have been running through my head since opening his book. He states that there are no supernatural dieties or gods or at the very least there is no rational and reasonable proof of their existence. I believe that the mere fact that I am alive, I can hear music, I feel love, etc. is enough proof. Millions of flowers open up each day and swivel around to the Sun for nourishment. Some might call this Mother Nature, some might call it Science, and some might call it God. Aren’t we really talking about the same thing with different labels?

 

 

 

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Waiting For My Real Life to Begin…

March 5th, 2010 by Joeclark No comments »

 

 

 

 

 

This Sums It Up!

March 2nd, 2010 by admin 3 comments »

 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

 

(Prayer of Saint Francis)

 

 

Have a Coke and a Smile

February 22nd, 2010 by Joeclark 4 comments »
Coca Cola (bottle) sold in Indonesia.
Image via Wikipedia

If you’ve been reading my posts for a while then you may remember one from a while back about hiking the Colorado Trail.  This trail runs from the city of Denver to a smaller town in Southwestern Colorado called Durango. The Colorado Trail or CT is a 500 mile continuously marked footpath that a few people set out each year to complete. These unique individuals are known as “Thru-hikers.”

One afternoon, on a hot day in July of 1995, I was hiking along the CT somewhere just west of Summit County and Breckenridge when I ran across a couple of other Thru-hikers; two guys and a girl probably in their 30s. This is fairly rare but always a treat as two months on this particular trail can be quite lonely. As we hiked together for a while we enjoyed some discussion and shared some trail stories. About mid-way through the day one of the guys pulled out a couple of Cokes from his backpack. My eyes I’m certain must’ve been enormous because for some reason Coke was one of the things I craved the most during my hike. At any rate this fellow Thru-hiker offered me one and of course I took him up on it.

Now you have to understand something, most Thru-hikers are freaks about the amount of weight they will put in their packs. I’m no different. In fact I might be even freakier than most about extra weight. However, the thought of having a Coke at the end of the day won out and I stuffed it into my pack and headed down the trail. I bet I hiked 10 or 12 miles with this particular Coke. I’m sure I hiked over several mountain passes and probably climbed over 5000 feet with it resting on my back.

As the day began to wind down we found a beautiful meadow with a rushing creek running right along side of it. It was a perfect camp spot and once settled I began to go through my usual routine of setting up my tent and cooking dinner. But, this particular evening was slightly different because I knew the enormous treat I was about to pour into my mouth. I pulled that Coke out of my pack and took it with some string down to the creek. I tied the string around it very carefully and stuck it in the water, which I knew would darn near freeze that Coke in just a few minutes flat. I set the Coke down in the water and tied the other end of the string to a tree branch and headed off to pitch my tent. I can remember that evening so clearly. I was a reasonably good rock climber at that time in my life as well and I had used the best safety knot I could to ensure that beverage would stay put.  

I went back and checked on my Coke after getting everything else fixed up and ready for a nice evening with my new friends. As I walked closer to the spot where I had left it I could see it WAS GONE!!! WHAT THE #$%@! Gone gone gone…

The loss of that beverage serves as a reminder that people and things will come and go from my life. That’s part of the human experience I’m having. That day, out of about 60 in total, remains front and center in my memory because of that vanishing Coke. I’ve shared that story often and I laugh every time. I’m 100% certain that I’ve received more simple enjoyment over the years because that Coke escaped then I would have if it were still tied to that string when I went to fetch it.

Have a Coke and a Smile? In this case I had no Coke but I’ve had 15 years of smiles. What a gift this life is.

Bliss…

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My Dialogue

February 21st, 2010 by Joeclark 1 comment »

 

My Ego: “I’m scared.”

 

My True Self: “Peace”

 

 

 

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Things Can Be So Complicated!

February 18th, 2010 by Joeclark 1 comment »

 Mountain Pose (Tadasana)

Stand with your feet hip width apart, your arms relaxed by your side. Let thunder clouds gather around your head. Ground into the bedrock of lava that pushed up through the crust of the earth to form you.

Let cheetahs hunt your slopes. Let winds blow through your grasses. Let saints meditate in your caves, and let villagers burn your trees for fuel and use your fields for toilets. Let pilgrims circumambulate the path around you, praying for sons, and miraculous cures, and to know who they truly are.

In the midst of them all, stand silent and unshakeable, watching them from the vast perspective of geologic time.

“Not seeing things as they are” is the field where the other causes of suffering germinate.

                          The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali

I recently came across this writing from the Indian mystic Patanjali who is credited with the development of yoga and the Yoga Sutras several thousand years ago. He is said to have derived yoga based on a loose set of doctrines and practices from the Upanishads, themselves a set of mystical writings.

This particular writing lept out at me and I found myself reading it and rereading it over and over. I’ve been practicing yoga now fairly diligently for a while and credit this activity or ‘non-activity’ in boosting me daily through my midlife. I’ve found such intense clarity during my yoga practice and frankly without it I’m not sure I would have had the courage to make some of the decisions lately that I know are for the best.

I like this writing from Patanjali because it highlights one of the easiest poses in yoga and yet it makes it sound so amazing and so powerful. Many yoga practicioners, myself included, try to work on the most difficult poses more so than spending quality time with the ones that are just plain and simple. I have to remind myself that yoga, at least for me, is not about accomplishment. It’s not just about unrolling my mat and sweating through an intense Vinyasa series. It’s not about anything except the simplicity of breathing and being aware of my aliveness.  In fact, yoga, as I often forget, is inextricably entangled with everything I do throughout my day;  eating a banana, enjoying a Kombucha with a friend, spotting fairies, and healing on the beach.

My learning from this wonderfully written Sutra: a simple life is oftentimes the most powerful and authentic way to live.

A few simple poses:

 Child’s Pose

 

Warrior 2

Rooster (Just Kidding)

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Happiness

February 16th, 2010 by Joeclark 3 comments »
The Flatirons rock formations, near Boulder, C...
Image via Wikipedia

Apparently I live near the happiest city in America.  Find out where your city ranks here.

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